The Science of Social Connection

Experts Discuss A Predictor of Health and Well-Being

    Human beings are sociable creatures. A profound urge to belong threads throughout all our lives and one of our deepest desires is to connect with other humans to feel loved, supported, and understood.

    It turns out that interacting with others in meaningful ways is also key to health and general well-being. But for those aging alone who don’t have a network of friends/family, a lack of social connection can have pernicious effects on their health.  Prolonged periods of social isolation can lead to stress and declines in physical and mental health, and make one more susceptible to depression, anxiety, dementia, heart disease, and a host of other ills.

   The longest study ever conducted on the key factors to human happiness and well-being, The Harvard Study of Adult Development which started in 1938 and still continues, established a strong correlation between the quality of our close relationships with happiness and health. The study, led by Dr. Robert Waldinger, a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, shows that it is the intangibles that truly are the key to successful aging, that protect our health and bring us fulfillment.  

  And may even give us a longer life, to boot. According to a meta-analytic review of 148 studies, led in part by Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University, social connections increase your longevity by 50%.

     Emma Seppälä, a lecturer at the Yale School of Management and author of Sovereign: Reclaim your Freedom, Energy & Power in a Time of Distraction Uncertainty & Chaos, says, “People who feel more connected to others have higher levels of psychological well-being (think self-esteem, lower anxiety and depression, greater satisfaction with life). That greater well-being in turn translates to prosocial behavior - like helping behavior, empathy, etc. We know that when we’re stressed, we tend to focus on ourselves and be more burned out. When our well-being is higher, our attention is broader, our cup is fuller, and we have the capacity to show up for others.”

One of the greatest hazards of sustained social isolation is chronic loneliness. And research shows loneliness is higher among the elderly who are especially vulnerable to feeling neglected and alone particularly if they have mobility and hearing impairment issues and other conditions that hamper their ability to connect with others.

Approximately one-quarter of community-dwelling Americans aged 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated, according to a paper from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine. Even U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy declared last year that loneliness is at epidemic levels in this country. “The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day,” he said.

     Yet lack of social interaction is often brushed under the carpet by doctors and those suffering from it.

     "Loneliness is a very tough thing to talk about,” says Dr. Ashwin Kotwal, assistant professor in geriatrics at the University of California, San Francisco. “There’s a lot of stigma associated with it. A lot of shame in identifying as lonely."

And the danger in not addressing the issue is real, adds Dr. Kotwal. "If someone has been isolated for a year because they lost their spouse, that may not be easily "fixed" or have an easy solution. And, if someone has not fully processed that loss and remains isolated, it’s very easy to slip into social patterns and norms that may not be the best adaptations. We call it maladaptive social cognition, developing adaptations that are harmful to your social life over time."

    Steve Rose, an addiction counselor in Ontario, Canada, compares the isolation of addiction with that of older adults aging alone.

“No matter the topic, social connection still is a fundamentally important thing. It’s the kind of thing people don’t think about. We know we need food, water, and shelter, but social connection is another invisible need.”

      Dianne Stone, associate director of the Center for Healthy Aging, part of the National Council on Aging (NCOA), has worked with solo seniors most of her career and knows how difficult combating loneliness can be.  At the Center, she is primarily focused on supporting and modernizing senior centers across the country.

     “The magic of a senior center is that it is a highly social environment and one of our biggest health problems is loneliness,” says Stone. “It is the intangible that we all want, to be part of a community. Even the most introverted of us are social creatures and as you get older it’s more challenging to maintain that social connection. Getting out and being with other people is not just a nice thing to do, it’s also important for your health. The main thing is to take that brave step and go do something,” says Stone. 

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Over the years, Stone has developed this list of practical tips for seniors to break out of the “isolation loop” and start making social connections.

1. Reach out to friends far away you haven’t talked to in a while and keep in touch.

2. Join a senior center or another local senior group. Take part in activities. 

3. Try local recreational programs. Join a class at a college campus.

4. If you’re able, look for places in the community to volunteer.

5.  Seek support. Talk to your doctor, and get a referral to a senior counselor if you’re finding you have barriers to socially connecting.

6. Get comfortable with modern technological tools such as social media and texting. 

7. Get to know your neighbors, including neighbors of all ages. We tend to think our friends are our age group, but there is great value in inter-generational engagement.

It takes effort, but in the end, it’s worth it.

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P.S. Dear Friends: I’m going to be returning to work soon so I will be posting every other week. Stay tuned for pieces on how to guard your mental and physical health and many other issues aging women face.